Do you ever wonder if there's something utterly fantastic left in you? Do you ever fantasize about doing something that, whilst terribly wicked, would be oh so cool to pull off?
I do. Today I was thinking about doing a bank job. Breaking in under the noses of security guards, tippy toeing around, scooping up the contents of safety deposit boxes... And then I thought of all the age related crap that would scupper me:- 1. I'm a forensic liability: I leave a sprinkling of hair wherever I go. 2. I talk to myself. Mostly swearing. 3. I have rheumatism and can't go down stairs without going, 'Ooh ah! ooh ah!' 4. I haven't got Catherine Zeta Jones's bum and my bosom couldn't sneak through a laser field. 5. I need frequent pee breaks. 6. I can't see close to. 7. I can't see far away. 8. I don't actually need anything. 9. But I do need naps. 10. Obviously, I'm always forgetting why I'm where I am and what I'm about to do. On the upside, I think a bit of jail time sounds quite enriching. With one shot at this life, trying everything is surely what it's all about. So who's with me?!!
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